Party Failures
by Rose Starre
Summary: Organization XIII is not good at throwing parties. Someone always winds up getting hurt, or passing out, or, even worse, getting sugar-high. This is a collection of the Organization's horribly failed parties.
1. Roxas's Birthday

**Disclaimer: Sorry, I'm too busy not owning anything to put the disclaimer in... Or am I? … Guess not…**

Chapter 1: Roxas's Birthday

_Whatever day Roxas's Birthday is on… Roxas's Room… 7:00 A.M. …_

"Happy birthday, buddy!" Axel cried happily as Roxas woke up.

"One question," Roxas asked sleepily, "How long have you been standing there?"

"Two hours," Axel replied. "Why?"

Roxas stared at Axel, obviously bothered by this fact. "Okay…" he said slowly. He sluggishly crawled out of bed, already in his cloak (having fallen asleep before changing).

Later, at about 2:00 P.M., the little "get-together" (as Xemnas and Saïx called it) was under way. Everyone had brought a little gift for Roxas.

Present-opening time soon rolled around. Roxas got quite a few interesting things, such as a wrapped box full of nothing (Way to go, Xemnas…), a Nerf gun, and a magnet (maybe it was one of the ones that have a funny saying on it).

After that, it was time for cake. The cake, made by Xaldin for the occasion, was vanilla with strawberry frosting. On the cake was the appropriate number of candles and the words '_Happy Birthday Roxas_' in blue icing. Now, all would have fine and good, had Demyx not gotten a hold of the white icing. Below the blue words were the words '_Wow, you're old!_' in Demyx's sloppy handwriting.

Roxas, upon seeing Demyx's message, turned beet red and tried to leave the room. Xigbar pulled him back and reassured him, saying, "C'mon, dude, you know Demyx. He's a little… uh… ridiculous sometimes. And this is one of those times. Please stay and have some cake."

The now comforted Roxas took his place next to the cake. Axel used his power of fire to light the candles. Sadly, he got a bit carried away, and lit the whole cake on fire. While everyone else was screaming at Axel and Demyx to put the fire out, Larxene was taking pictures.

The fire soon burned itself out, leaving nothing on the plate except a few blackened, hard-as-a-rock crumbs. Larxene laughed cruelly and took a picture of poor Roxas beside his nonexistent birthday cake. Then, she skipped away to avoid getting lit on fire by Axel, who was threatening to do just that.

_The End_

_Poor Roxas. He didn't even get to enjoy his birthday cake flamb__é__. Oh well. At least he has that box of nothing to look forward to. Who am I kidding? No one, that's who. Until the next party failure, good bye._


	2. Thanksgiving Dinner

_Getting together for Thanksgiving dinner is a party too (sort of)._

_Thanksgiving Day… The Castle That Never Was… 2:00 P.M. …_

Xaldin happily shoved the turkey into the oven. He set the timer and sat down to prepare the potato salad. Beside him, Demyx was figuring out the meatball recipe. Demyx busily rolled hamburger meat into little balls and placed them on a tinfoil sheet.

A few hours later (or however long it takes for a turkey to cook), the timer on the oven went off. Xaldin fetched the turkey and set the steaming meat on the table. He took the meatballs that Demyx had long since finished making and put them in the oven.

After the food had been prepared and set out on the table, the other members were called to eat. They immediately began to take whatever pleased them. The meal was going rather well, that is, until Xigbar got a brilliant idea…

Carefully taking a spoonful of mashed potatoes, Xigbar aimed, and fired. The flying food soared across the table and struck Luxord in the face. Licking potato from his face, Luxord glared at the culprit, who had made himself look busy with a meatball.

Now, Luxord wasn't about to let this slide. He scooped up a gravy-drenched meatball and flung it across the table. But, the projectile flew wide of its mark and got Axel instead.

Picking up the fallen meatball, Axel wiped gravy from his face. He scowled at Luxord and instantly declared, "Food War!"

Everyone wanting to be part of the war gathered ammunition and sped to opposite sides of the room. Two opposing armies gathered together and selected their leader, using spaces behind overturned tables as forts.

Axel's army consisted of Lexaeus, Roxas, and Luxord. The conflicting army, Xigbar's, contained Larxene, Demyx, and Marluxia. "Let's do this," Xigbar muttered, jamming an army-style helmet on his head.

Each man (and Larxene) was armed with an unbreakable plastic spoon and a supply of food. The war soon initiated and the first potato bullet was fired. Food flew in every direction and cries of "Fire!" and "Demyx, the enemy's _that_ way!" could be heard throughout the castle.

Eventually, food supplies began to run low on Axel's side. "Alright," Axel said sternly, "Who's been eating our ammo?"

Immediately, Roxas and Luxord pointed at each other and cried "It was him!" simultaneously. Axel judged both of them to be guilty and sent them to the table to raid it for more missiles.

After a minute or two, the raiders returned with armloads of goodies. Luxord had even come back with a pot of scalding coffee that he had found somewhere. "Just in case," he explained, "Someone closes in on our location."

Not too long after Luxord had spoken these words, Xemnas stepped in front of them. "What in Kingdom Hearts is going-"

Xemnas never finished that sentence. With a cry of "Civilian!", Axel dragged Xemnas behind his overturned table/fort.

"What in the World That Never Was?!" Xemnas yelled.

"Superior," Roxas explained while lobbing a baked-potato-grenade over the table, "We probably just saved your life."

"How?" Xemnas snapped, "I wasn't in any danger!"

At about the same time, Saïx was also walking past and was unlucky enough to get hit in the face with the very same baked-potato-grenade that Roxas threw. Saïx was growling across the Dining Hall of Eating when Xigbar pulled him behind _his_ overturned table/fort. (The name had been given to the dining hall by Demyx when he first joined. The name had stuck ever since.)

"Injured civilian," Xigbar said calmly, "I now officially take you under my protection."

"I'm not injured," Saïx snarled, wrenching his arm out of Xigbar's grasp.

"But… but," Xigbar stuttered, "The grenade…?"

"It. Didn't. Explode!" Saïx barked angrily. He stormed off without another word.

The food war waged on. Potatoes, tomatoes, carrots, and turkey meat were mercilessly slung across the Dining Hall of Eating. Half an hour passed and food supplies ran dangerously low and the table was empty. Axel and Xigbar were trying to conserve the remaining ammunition, but were not doing well.

Eventually, the last missile was fired and splattered uselessly against the floor. Axel and Xigbar stared at each other from across the hall. "I'm not cleaning this up," Axel called, beginning to get up.

"I won't either," Xigbar called back, doing the same.

"Actually," Xemnas said stepping forward with mops, "Both of you are cleaning this place." He tossed a mop to both of the surprised nobodies, who nearly missed catching the cleaning tools. The two "generals" groaned.

_The End_

**_Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!_**

_That Thanksgiving dinner didn't end well. Not very many dinners dissolve into war, not even at the World That Never Was! _


End file.
